For centuries, female energy was suppressed, and clearly, we define a woman by certain things and we bind her strictly by them. It all is sensible, but the question is: what can we do today, in our lifestyle to work on our relationships confidently and not chase around all the time?
The irony is the more we attempt to be confident, the less confident we feel. Although there are plenty of effective techniques for building confidence, many of them don’t work for sensitive women.
Sensitive women of the planet … we shall not stand being pushed around anymore. We feel things very very deeply. We do not understand why people behave the way they do and we question if it’s because of us. We care about others’ happiness. We rarely put our own interests first.
So let’s look at what needs to be changed.
3 ideas that kill your self-worth:
Disease to please or “have to” syndrome
Do you ever feel like you cannot rest (until you’re completely exhausted) and there’s always another thing to do? Do you think that people around you need you always?
“Have to” maybe a weight we all bear since a really young age without realizing it. Everyone has responsibilities, but it seems most of us somehow skipped the part once we chose them. We do not rule our obligations, but automatically we do what the world wants us to do, we don’t make our own decisions.
We get so trapped in have-to(s) that we lose the sense of who we are. I’m sure you know at least a dozen such women. Are you one of them? Are you slowly becoming one?
Take a moment and reflect. Ask yourself: What have-to(s) in your life are you able to let go? The earth won’t collapse, I tried. Let yourself be. Relax. You deserve it.
Let’s try to construct a modern woman.
She is a favorite employee or entrepreneur, staying long hours and running all things for an ideal home after. She is here and there in seconds, she always looks good, smells lovely and smiles regardless of what’s happening around her.
She must be perfect, this is the pressure people placed on her shoulders, and she took it.
Work hard, be an excellent mother, even better wife, caring daughter, helping friend. Feel tired? Maybe it’s time to wash the dishes! Don’t let it get into you.
Ahhh! I’m sweating as I write this. I’m not allowed to be tired; I want to beat it to the punch, I want to convince myself I can do something else, because tiredness is weakness and that I can’t be weak. I should be a perfect woman. My house needs to be perfect.
Perfection is the image of a woman most people were programmed with.
I have amazing women friends from various places and backgrounds. regardless of if their families are from Europe, Africa, Asia or anywhere else, public school or private, self-made, graduated from Harvard, babysitting or traveling, making $10.000 or 300, “a-woman-has-to-have-it-all-together” comes in several forms in all of ’em, myself included.
I am not saying it’s bad to be amazing in everything (as women are!). What I’m saying is many ladies exhaust themselves, because they can’t stop, reflect, give themselves time. they struggle to be it all because they need to, NOT because they want to.
If it sounds familiar, welcome to the club.
When we thrive for perfection at something that’s impossible to realize, it affects our confidence. We feel useless as if our efforts don’t really matter.
We can’t specialize in real results, all we will see is the perfection we did not achieve.
Remember, control and responsibility are two separate things. So if you were thinking right now: “I don’t want to be this type of woman who doesn’t control anything and doesn’t have a voice!”, it isn’t what I’m talking about.
I refer to the control that destroys you, pressure you, causes you to feel small and insignificant. Control that comes from fear, that awakens you in the dark, run without a stop, lose yourself.
Who are you in your core? What do you value? Are you a controlling “everything- needs-to-be-like-I-want”, “I-know-better” kinda person? No. you’re miss sunshine. The universe cares about you. Trust what you feel deep in your heart.
What reality do you choose? One of your disturbing thoughts or those close to your heart?
Look at the world as if you’re gonna die tomorrow. Look at the people around you in the same manner. Will you hold close all the pain if it had been the Judgment Day of your life? Will you control? Like, for real? I don’t think so.
You will trust, and breathe and believe. Dive into the world, into what your heart knows to be true: love, compassion, joy, healing. you recognize it’s in you. choose it; you deserve it.
Note: While you’re here, read this article on signs of Anxiety.